Sat., Sep. 5, 2009 12:00 PM PDT From >
Quick, who''s the reigning Miss America?
Don''t feel bad for being stumped. These days, pageant queens are anonymous. If they didn''t wear I.D. sashes, we''d mistake them for your average, everyday breast-implant model.
Except for Carrie Prejean. She''s famous.
Now how did that happen, you wonder? Yes, how did that happen?
Was it a quirk of the YouTube era? A miracle? Or perhaps something else something else involving a contract, a drop of blood and a dark figure some call Beelzebub?! Or a blogger and a handshake. Same difference.
Let''s review the timeline:
• Early 2009: Carrie Prejean is Miss California USA. She is the face of Double Happiness Jewelry. In other words, she is not famous.
• Early 2009: Blogger Perez Hilton is famous. But our gut, or a well-placed source, if you will, tells us Hilton frets that he''ll never be superfamous, much less run his own record label.
 
• April 18: Somewhere in Las Vegas, Hilton draws up questions as part of his job as judge for the following night''s Miss USA contest. Elsewhere in Las Vegas, Miss USA hopeful Prejean practices the beauty-queen art of saying something while, in reality, saying nothing so as not to offend anybody. Our gut tells us the two, lost in their thoughts, make like an old Reese''s Peanut Butter Cups commercial and bump into each other. A conversation ensues.
• Later that night: In a scene reconstructed for us by our suspicious mind, or a pageant insider, if you will, Hilton and Prejean bond over their shared career frustrations and their passions—his: Google Analytics, hers: religion. Hilton mentions same-sex marriage is an especially hot topic for his readers. Prejean mentions same-sex marriage is an especially hot topic for her church. Our suspicious mind tells us eyes meet. Eyebrows are raised. A handshake deal is made.
• April 19: At the pageant, Hilton poses a same-sex marriage question to Prejean. Prejean basically says nothing, but then closes by expressing an actual opinion—a shocking breach of pageant tradition. Still, aside from some minor crowd noise, nobody gasps, yells or throws assorted produce. Hilton tries to goose the moment by adding a disappointed head shake, but no dice. The building stands, the show goes on. Will superfame and fame never be theirs?
• Later that night: A hunch, or Hollywood insider, if you will, tells us Prejean and Hilton huddle to see how they can engage their respective bases. Hilton suggests he takes to his blog to call Prejean a "f----t." Prejean agrees that''s a surefire way to get attention, but suggests he save the epithet for another occasion and call her a "dumb bitch" instead. Another handshake, another deal.
• Even later that night: Hilton takes to his blog and calls Prejean a "dumb bitch."
• The next day: The YouTube clip of Hilton and Prejean goes viral, Hilton goes on Larry King—he''s superfamous!
• The day after that: Prejean goes on The Today Show—she''s famous!
• Postscript: Hilton''s record-label dream comes true. He drops the "f----t" bomb on will.i.am, and becomes super-duper-famous! For Prejean, there''s a book deal, a feud with Shanna Moakler and a fulfilling career in martyrdom!
Then again…
It''s possible that Prejean and Hilton were just made for each other. Like a match and a matchbook. No fanning of the flames required.
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